On Tuesday, I was in Manhattan for a client meeting and then was to meet Rayne for dinner. I was early. I walked toward his office in Hedgefundlandia (Midtown East) and lo and behold, what was before me but that beacon of overpriced fashion, Bloomingdale's. I went in to buy mascara, because somehow after my poop-scooping-jeans-ripping experience, I had misplaced it. I figured it would turn up if I bought some more, and then I'd have extra!
I successfully navigated the throngs of gay men hawking new scents (and one who commented on how beautiful my skin was, and did I need any products to enhance it? You are a bad liar, sir.) and purchased my favorite black mascara, Hypnose by Lancome.
Rayne still was not ready. There was nothing left to do but go up to the women's floors.
I think you know where this is going.
I stopped at DKNY and perused the sales racks. (I only buy clothing on sale. Didn't you know? That's why I dress so badly.) There were a few dresses left over from the holiday season, and I had an idea. One of my best friends from college is getting married in LA in February, and clearly, the ten dresses in my closet would not do for such a momentous occasion.
I tried on a few that made me look like a stuffed sausage, but then there was one... a tomato-red A-line dress that fit me to a T(after sucking in my baby tummy). After donning my DKNY
Here it is:
|A-line dress from DKNY.|
I continued on my way, browsing the ridiculously expensive boutiques. Who can afford to dress like this? The only people buying full-price items were foreigners.
Maybe I should return this dress, I thought to myself in a classic case of buyer's remorse.
Then, I saw them.
Tomato-red, suede, peep-toe stilettos from UK brand Reiss.
And they were on sale. MEGA SALE. 70 PERCENT OFF. There were three pairs left, and one of those three was Euro size 37 -- MY SIZE. Fate had brought me to this place, and who was I to deny fate?
Here they are:
|Monique heels from Reiss.|
The entire outfit cost me $170. And it looks hot.
See you in Santa Monica, bitches.
I had to ditch my terrible commenting system, but I didn't want to lose the comments, so here they are: