Thursday, April 25, 2013

I'm $o Gang$ta

Remember last September when I said I was getting a Droid Razr Maxx? Because my phone drowned? In the tornado that touched down in Brooklyn? Because climate change is a giant hoax perpetrated by the liberal media?

Yeah, well my contract was only a year old, and I refused on principle to pay $650 for a phone. Rayne tried to buy me a couple of different versions on Ebay, but let's just say a few shady characters from Kazakhstan made out better than we did on that one.  So I settled on an old Blackberry Crapberry.

Can I tell you how bad Blackberry is? The operating system is complete shit and their "apps" are a joke. Case in point: I tweeted this evidence of my frustration back in October:

And Research in Motion (the company that makes Blackberry) RETWEETED IT. They can't even get it together enough to refrain from retweeting insults about themselves. Truly pathetic.

The only saving grace was the velocity with which you can type on a Blackberry as opposed to an Android phone. It's much faster. Admit it.

But then this happened:

The smudgy baby fingerprints make the shot, I think.

Henry loves that phone so much he pulled the S key off. It's also the 4 key, which was the speed dial for Nana-and-Papa. I suspect it was the number of times he called them without my knowledge that finally did the poor S key in.

In any ca$e, for the la$t few week$, unle$$ the email or text wa$ important and related to work, I've been u$ing the $ key in place of "S," like the dime $tore gang$ta that I am. (You, my dear reader$, obviou$ly do not qualify a$ important or work-related.)

Speaking of work-related, now that I have a "real job," the $ key thing is becoming a problem. (Also, my sister might murder me in my sleep if I send her one more ransom-note text message.)

Finally, my dear husband called Verizon and somehow convinced them to upgrade me early. After seven months, it's true: I'm getting a Droid Razr Maxx! Best! Day! Ever!!!!

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles /