Friday, March 22, 2013

The End of Baby Fun Zone

Baby Jail Origin Story

Back when we first put up the wooden gate that was to become the foundation of Baby Jail, its purpose was to keep Hudson out of Henry's face and away from his toys, which look and sound tantalizingly similar to dog toys.

We simply sectioned off Henry's baby play gym without attaching the gate to anything. Hudson knew his place, and Henry gooed and gaaed obliviously at the pretty butterfly dangling two inches from his nose.

If you look closely, you can see the wooden gate in the upper left-hand corner. 

When we moved to Brooklyn, we created the present-day Baby Jail. Slowly, however, Henry became mobile, and one time he pushed the gate open and army crawled right out.

The convict has escaped!
(Bad crapberry photo)

So we bolted the gate to the bookcases that acted as two sides of the jail.

Not too long afterwards, we realized that Baby Jail was actually protecting Hudson from Henry, who had discovered he had his own personal moving fluffy animal toy and wanted to squeeze its face. Poor Hudsy. The term "Baby Jail" became more appropriate than ever.

The convict in his stripes reaches over the gate for
his personal fluffy animal toy.

Soon Henry, who was learning to walk, balked at always being in Baby Jail. Far be it from me to stunt my child's motor skills development, so we created Hudsy Jail to protect the dog from Henry and his zooming red Y-bike.

Hudsy, you wanna play?
Watch out, Hudsy!

Baby Fun Zone

A month or so ago, Henry began to protest Baby Jail vigorously. With screaming and whining and trying to climb out, which I did NOT want him to realize he could do.

"I think we need to rebrand Baby Jail," I said to Rayne. "We need to start calling it Baby Fun Zone."

In the early mornings, I'd coax Henry into playing so I could return to sleep for a precious thirty more minutes.

"C'mon, buddy! Let's go play in the Baby Fun Zone! Woo-hoo! Baby Fun Zone! Yeah, Baby Fun Zone!!!!"

Occasionally he would actually get distracted long enough for me to sneak out and get some more shut-eye.

But recently, he really hasn't been having it.

No way, Moo Cow! I need to run around the apartment singing and talking on your phone!

"Yeah, I'll hold for his call."
(With abandoned Baby Fun Zone in the background.)

(Side note: I recently picked up my cell phone and saw that Henry had composed -- but luckily failed to send -- a gibberish twitter message to The Bloggess. True story.)

Alas, my rebranding exercise was too late.

I Poop On Your Rebranding Exercise, Moo Cow

Baby Fun Zone has been relegated, for the most part, to the place where we corral Henry's toys a) to protect them from Hudson and b) to protect ourselves from stepping on them. Because, OUCH.

Rayne's been traveling a lot for work, so he had not gotten the memo on Baby Fun Zone's demotion.

One day earlier this week, Rayne was up with Henry in the wee hours of the morning. He put him in Baby Fun Zone and managed to distract him long enough to go doze on the couch for a few more minutes.

Mistake.

Henry took off his diaper, peed on his Panda Mat blanket and then proceeded to take two big poops in Baby Fun Zone, in full view of his father.

And that pretty much sums up what Henry thinks of my rebranding campaign.

I poop on your rebranding exercise, Moo Cow.

Linking up with More Than Mommies this week!